Flummoxed, that’s my new word to you.

And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.30:21

So there she is, juggling between the terms- “over the moon” and “ecstatic” to “apprehensive” and “distorted” to “responsibility” and “faithful”. People get married, like totally easy is that process seemingly, at least. Back in school time she remembers the goo goos and the devocalised stories told to the mirror and the trees and oh! How much more daft could be that age- chilled out, flowery and utterly nonsensical!

Marriage is big. 

It is you, deciding to let the other one chose the colour of your wishes. It is you, picking out the chinks from the doorway to save the wrinkle on the face of the other. It is you, willing to calm down the other masking out the storm flooding your lungs. It is you, lifting yourself up everyday morning wanting to yank the smile in the other. It is definitely you, clearing out the sweat in your body, wanting the giggle in the other. It is you, opting to shut your mouth fearing the silent tea time from the other.

My beloved child, marriage is you, determined to be faithful, needing the trust of the other. It is you, resolving to hit home forsaking the gang party for the other. It is you, chilling the ice cubes choosing to lower the temperature of the other. It is you, determined to not roll your eyes understanding the other. It is you, understanding the reality and accepting the other. It is you, swatting out the ticks and parasites ensuring the land of nod of the other. It is you, finding out time to fiddle with the product of your love. It is the selfless you, forfeiting that extra Dave for other. It is you, sitting back and being thankful to be the garment woven just, for the other.

And oh? Let me strike a cord and let your mind rest on the structure of the sentences above – how it started with you first and how the term ‘wife’ and ‘husband’ was carefully *not* included – yes, I was positive you missed that.

It has been a disease since the times known for the teens to fancy everything but the other mentioned above- about the wedlock. Harm has much being done by the media and the likes to either grow up their fascination to a tree full of berries- which would give you the berries the colour of your choice – to maybe forever be pessimistic about the whole process of ‘sacrifice’ ‘sacrifice’ and ‘sacrifice’. Blame is on us who didn’t give them the platform to think. We were busy teaching them to put a tick against the score sheet for ‘hair, nose, height, weight and colour’ that we forgot that in real life, those things aren’t superficial ...(I mean, like, it should be dunged deep, like literally with a saw and all that!)

I mean seriously!

Why would you think it would be easy for you to just let somebody live with you, like 24*7(minus the nap time/work time) even if you consider the hair texture to be soft as you wanted( and the blue iris, yes, thats a must too)?! 

Grow up! There is more to edited selfies (they are haram btw) and weekly trips to well off lands! God save those marriages that have but sitting in the cubic of your home, featuring /wishing /wanting /dreaming of your wedding to be the like of a random Tom, Dick and harry make you an obtuse angle. And hahahaha i’m not Marriage Counselor or let alone married but these are the few things that the two wonderful being in my home show cast through their deeds to me, and I applaud for that excellent 24 years.

Its a process of evolving yourself. Its a Sunnah. And Wallaahi, it is beautiful.

Two random people picked up from a toootally different environment- and when i say that I even mean, the way you toss your towel ruthlessly on the chair to the number of cereals included in a week's meal- IS DIFFERENT! Understand that fact and believe that there is NO you and her/him the likes of you on Planet Earth. Understand that this marriage is different.

 We were created as أَحْسَنِ تَقْوِيمٍ and there is no one more superior to you in colour, gender, race EXCEPT in terms of piety. So be more pious and forgive that little fault of your Half Deen, be more pious and volunteer to disregard the sleep for your little toe. A time shall come when the other would go wobble at this attitude of yours and let you decide the colour of the curtain. Till then فَصَبْرٌ جَمِيلٌ

And despite all the whatever you would say, I would recommend you to get married before you go feministy about it. And wait, read those wise ups again and formulate that ‘you’ in understanding the matter. When things get settled and you have decided the name of that proper noun against whom your name shall be, dial me up and talk to me about Haya Muhabbah!

 Ps: Thats right, as flummoxed as this article could be!
Sorry mate!